Ultimate frisbee team in a group circle on the pitch with their arms around each other

  • 24 October 2019
  • 8 min read

Stats the way -uh-hu, uh-hu, I like it:

So after bursting through the 60% ceiling last week, The University of Portsmouth BUCS' Win Percentage rose like a run of Purple Salmon, soaring over the furry, frustrated heads of a line of Grizzlies in the rapids of North America. After yesterday's results from both cup and league action, our competitive sports clubs hit a season high 64% Win Ratio – which included a rather bloomin' good, 69% ratio for our Home matches during the period, 18-25 October. This makes me very, very happy, and also confirms the thoughts of my closest friends that I should get out more.

The quest of the Holy Grail, the search for the Stone of the Philosophers – by whatever name we chose to call the Great Work – is therefore endless. Success only opens up new avenues of brilliant possibility.

Aleister Crowley,

And so it was with brilliant possibility hanging in the cold air following every team talk, each celebratory roar and the rally cries of each Captain and their comrades, that our clubs set out on their own epic quests with the Holy Grail of that March Finals Day just a whisper in the far corner of the dressing room... Who will be there to proudly fly the Pompey banner...? Well these guys have as good a chance as any.

Men's football:

Reading 2nds hosted Pompey's 2nd team yesterday in the Conference Cup and in an absolute thriller, the 2's booked their place in the Last 32 with a 3-2 success at Bulmershe. A goal from Kwawo Frempong-Manso and a Man of the Match Performance from 2-goal-hero, Semi Akinlolu saw the 2's into the hat, where they'll take on Brighton at Falmer. Assists on the day were from Joel Harris, Ollie Eales and that man again, the deadly, Akinlolu!

The 3rds travelled to Brighton 2nds and came away with a convincing 3-0 victory against their higher-tiered opposition to send them through to face Kingston in the Last 32 of the Conference Cup. Jack Grover, Belal Ouchan and Ezeez Eleguishi got the goals with assists from Adaini Carrera, Danny Civco and Adam Flynn, to leave Portsmouth with 3 teams looking to make the Last 16 in a fortnight.

Hockey:

Men's 1sts continued their impressive start to the season by cruising past UCL 3rds, 7-0, on the road in the Conference Cup. They have now earned themselves a Home draw against Chichester or Imperial in the next round on November 6.

Women's 2nds were also in fantastic form, sweeping aside Brighton 3rds on their way to a dominant 12-0 win to take them into the Last 32. Isabelle Smith was in fine form with 4 goals, Kathleen Foster and Sophie Buchanan both recorded hat-tricks with Amber Braysher nabbing a brace to round off the scoring. Captain, Lucy Lee recorded 3 assists with one from Jenna Mitchell. Player of the match was Rehannah Houghton-Judge. The 2nds now travel to Brunel in the next round in a fortnight.

Basketball:

Men's 1sts welcomed Brunel to Spinnaker and in an entertaining encounter, played in great spirit, ran out 92-65 winners to progress to the next round and book a trip to Brighton. MVP's for this match, were Temiloluwa Olorunsola [19] and Aaron Berida [18] who couldn't be split, both scoring high and showing great hustle all the way to the end. Alex Grant [16] Thomas Austin and Finleigh Porter [10] Davis Strodahs [9] Lukas Tamosauskas [4] Judah Johnson amd Chems Eddine Allal [3] completed the scoring as Portsmouth ran up 8 short of the hundred in a crucial first round win.

Netball:

The Super 4's are back and have the distinction of being the first team in any cup competition within BUCS, to reach the Last 16, with their second round tie against Holloway being brought forward to yesterday. At St. Paul's the 4's ran out comfortable 52-24 winners in the end. Player of the Match, Hannah Nash shot the 4ths into the next round with 24 points, including a phenomenal 92% Quarter 4 shooting accuracy. Sarah Exall [21] and Freya Marlow [7] got the other goals in another superb all round team performance. Ebony McIntyre was top of the Tips with 8, followed by Abbie 'Abso smashed it!' Elms [7] Lucy Moyse and Emily Mills [6] Taylor Coleman [5] Freya Marlow [4] and Hannah Nash [1]. Rebound stats were dominated by Exall and Captain, Moyse with 4, with Nash, Marlow and Mills chipping in with 1 apiece. Moyse topped the Intercepts stats with 5, from Mills with 3... almost everyone else recorded 1 apiece to once again highlight the collective contribution from the 4's. They now look forward to the next round where they will host Imperial or St. Mary's on the 20th November at St. Paul's.

Rugby union:

Rounding off proceedings in the cup are Men's Rugby 4ths who came through their First Round Tie against West London 1sts [54-0] to set up a trip to Goldsmiths in the next round. The real story here was relayed by Head Coach, Nick Parker when he spoke to the press yesterday evening –

*the following account has been heavily edited to ensure the below article does not break the 50,000 word barrier and those reading have to put the kettle on again...

After early tries for Portsmouth Men’s 4ths at Langstone, West London unfortunately sustained a number of injuries to their already depleted squad. Rather than continue with reduced numbers and a contest of a one sided nature, a number of Pompey boys [4 in total by the final whistle] agreed to play for West London. This way the game could continue with two full fifteen aside teams. The opposition appreciated the gesture and the Hampshire Referees Society Referees Assessor complimented the boys on their sportsmanship.

Nick Parker, Head Coach, Rugby Union

I think we'll all agree that this was a fantastic gesture by Rugby, and a great advertisement for the ethos of Sport at Portsmouth.

Top work guys! #ProudtobePurple

And so, like the migrating Brent Geese that so beautifully grace the old Rugby Pitches of a bygone era, we gracefully waddle from cup to league action...

Squash:

In the 'Garden of England', a phrase coined by Henry VIII, Men's 1sts produced a regal performance, returning to the South Coast with maximum points. Will Permian, Edward English, Sherlock Ko, Elliot Dowling and Man of the Match Josh Taylor, all won without dropping a game, to send Pompey to the top of Tier 1 after 3 matches, ahead of rivals King's College and Roehampton. Impressive stuff from Pompey who travel to Imperial next week looking to retain that top spot. As Henry VIII once said – 'It's all in the execution!'

Volleyball:

A perfect day for Volleyball as Men's and Women's 1sts were both victorious at Spinnaker. Women's 1sts finally got their league season underway and were clinical in dispatching Brunel in straight sets [3-0] 25-11, 25-10 and 25-20, to make sure they got off to a winning start. Player of the Match went to Athina Dimitrelli for 15 Successful Receives, 4 Successful Attacks and 4 Aces. The best of the rest contributions came from Wiktoria Wysoczanska with 11 Successful Receives, 4 Successful Attacks, 1 Successful Block and 4 Aces, Clara Pons Marti with 9 Successful Receives and 3 Aces, Megan Harvey with 8 Successful Receives and Aleksandra Kowalska with 5 Successful Attacks and an incredible 8 Aces! Next up the team travel to St. Mary's looking for back to back wins to maintain top spot in SE3A.

Men's 1sts were involved in a tighter affair, coming through 3-1 against Greenwich, to claim their first win of the season in their second outing. They won the first set 25-18, but then lost a tight second 28-26, before recovering to claim the match 25-17, 25-22 in sets 3 and 4. Nathan Brooker with 24 Successful Receives, 15 Successful Attacks and 3 Successful Blocks put in a Man of the Match Performance in a thrilling encounter . Other highlights were Eliot McFarlane with 3 Aces, Andrej Seifert with 23 Successful Receives and 8 Successful Attacks, Vengie Duke Sia and Merlin Fellner-Feldegg with 19 and 17 Successful Receives respectively and Callum Anderson with an excellent 21 Successful Assists, as Greenwich had a real mean time at Spinnaker.

Lacrosse:

Women's 1sts produced a brutal display, as they ran out 30-0 winners at home to Kingston. Emilie Boulter and Laura Saunders were named Players of the Match as Pompey swept their opposition aside on a crisp afternoon at Langstone. Bobby Heywood with an incredible 8 goals, Lexi Smith, continuing her run of fine form with 6, Charlotte Fray 5, Alice Chaplin & Sophie Griffiths with 3 apiece, Joana Bruce 2 and a goal each for Helen Edmonson, Saunders and Boulter sealed an emphatic win for the hosts who spring up to 3rd in the SE2A table. They host leaders Sussex next at Langstone on Wednesday.

Netball:

Netball 5ths produced the goods again as they clinched a famous 55-50 win in an epic encounter against Reading 3rds at St. Paul's. This win saw Pompey make it 2 from 2 and sends them top of the table, just above New Bucks 1sts. Captain's Player was Zelal Nacak and Player of the Match was awarded to Captain, Eleanor Hayes. A superb start to the season for the unbeaten 5ths.

Women's football:

In Tier 2, the 2nds picked up their first point of the season at Langstone in an end to end thriller against Kent 1sts, sharing 6 goals in what ended up as a frustrating 3-3 draw for the hosts. Goals and assists from Megan Coutts and Chloe Fitzsimmons, and a clinical strike from Charlotte Willis-Sloane saw Pompey take something from their endeavours, with Charlotte Alner named Player of the Match.

Completely unrelated fact of the day:

Did you know that there are more twins in the world now, than there have ever been before? However, statisticians are dubious about the veracity of such a fact, citing the increase in mirrors as the reason for this widespread increase. Overall they have stated that the whole thing is two preposterous to believe in, stating that many people were simply having an identical rather than an identity crisis.

Once again, I've been me and you've been far better than me or my twin brother, Harry Hill.

Play Up!

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